Пума | Дата: Пятница, 30.03.2012, 14:09 | Сообщение # 1 |
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| A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
A man is talking to God. The man: "God, how long is a million years?" God: "To me, it's about a minute." The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?" God: "To me it's a penny." The man: "God, may I have a penny?" God: "Wait a minute."
— Сan you tell me the name of 3 great kings who've brought happiness and peace into people's lives? — Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king
- Are you training to the race ? - No, I am racing to the train !
What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said. "Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
- What word begins with "e", ends with "e", and has one letter? - Envelope!
- What travels around the world and stays in a corner? - A stamp.
- What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? - A blackboard.
- Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? - Because he had no-body to go with!
Под самым красивым хвостом павлина скрывается самая обычная куриная жопа. Так что меньше пафоса, господа.
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